Pillow Talk| M.I.L.F: Aging in the Arts

Simple little stories from the "glamourous" life of a showgirl.

Every showgirl loves a watchful eye and we also love feeling good in our skin. The touching and the teasing, is literally what makes it all memorable, in fact I'd argue it's more important than rhinestones and glitter. Alas, there are some performers whose names I can't recall whereas the costume or prop may linger for a moment in my mind, but the dancers that made me feel? The one's who excelled at the touch and the tease? Those are the dames whose names are still on the tip of my tongue years after I watched them grace the stage. But a showgirl is not exempt from the process of aging. So where does that leave us? Most people cringe at the thought of being seduced by a scantily clad grandma, and at some point our bodies give way to gravity and years of late night romps. Does the ingenue long to become a M.I.L.F before she fades into existence? Is there life after M.I.L.F.?

In Pillow Talk, The Luvely Rae delivers short antidotes on nightlife and working in entertainment in the U.S. These stories lead to bigger questions such as: what is female empowerment and the difficulties of building notoriety off being sexy.

Music  The Mooche by Duke Ellington (recorded 1928)

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This podcast is recorded in a style that pays homage to talents like Miss Monitor (Tedi Thurman) and explores topics designed to stimulate conversations. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Time for a little pillow talk. Hello, darlings. I have to confess, I never saw the movie American Pie. The fact that there was even a sequel I found quite surprising. Because to be fair, I don't know anyone who saw that movie. Then again, I believe that movie was not really pointed at me. I certainly don't look like any of the cast members, and can't say that I could relate to any of their experiences. But perhaps you know of the movie in which I talk about. The movie in which a young man coming of age is well, I don't know what the fuck he's trying to do. I mean, all I know is that the guy winds up putting his dick in a pie or something. Ah, yeah. So there you have it. The birds and the bees explained with a dick in the pie. Now, lo and behold, I found back when I was on stage on a regular basis, producing shows in New York City and Philadelphia, I found myself wrestling with America's fascination with the older woman. Now, I believe it was American Pie that coined the term MILF, but I could be wrong on that. After all, I still haven't seen the movie. But the MILF. The mother I'd like to fuck. Hmm. I remember one of my dance students referring to me as such. And she also referred to her belly dance teacher as such. The class I was teaching was a burlesque. So that guy Joe and she was going on about how her young belly dance teacher is so amazing. Subject. And like me, she's a total evening. And I'm that guy Joe would go to all the shows and that other performer. And B, isn't this a good thing? I mean, the fact that someone is a mother or isn't a mother, is it something that one should take as a compliment to still be fuckable? Hmm. It's a bit strange, isn't it, that this is a term that's used as some sort of female empowerment? And during that time, I remember looking at younger performers breaking onto the scene and wondering, well, how much longer should I go for? How much longer should I twirl for? Because, let's be fair, there's always going to be something newer and shinier to come along to grab one's attention. That's how audiences work. Now, there are fans, and then there are fanatics. And a true fan, a true fanatic will stay in there. Throughout all those changes, those bodily changes, they are there for the full ride because there's something about you. Not just how you look in the moment, but there is something that you are sharing with them and they feel that they're able to share a little something back. Just think of all the fans who've grown up listening to Madonna or Janet Jackson. As these ladies age, they are also wrestling with what they can and can get away with acceptably on stage or in public. I remember reading a comment on a photo of Janet Jackson when she went back on tour, and the comment was something to the effect of, oh God, do you really need the money? I'd rather just send you money than have purchased a ticket for the show. And I thought, well, that's quite cruel. Because this person, we're going to assume they weren't just trolling. This person had to have done one of two things. Either they purchased a ticket to the show, curious to see an artist, which they appreciated, what that artist is doing now, or they purchased a ticket to the show expecting to see the artist exactly as the artist was whenever they came out with whatever song they have associated with. I believe Taylor Swift said it at some point where as an artist, you are not allowed or expected to get old. You are to remain the exact same age that you were when your fans fell in love with you.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Now, I, for one, do somewhat relate.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

You see, for Janet Jackson, she had a number of videos and tours in which bearing six-pack abs was par for the course. And by God, I thought, I'd love to have a body like that. And she was just hot. And so, as an older woman, can we still call her hot? She's not bearing six-pack abs in her latest performances, but she's still doing the dance moves, and she still looks damn good. Is that enough? Is that acceptable? Is she letting her fans down? Well, her true friends don't give a shit. Look at Madonna. Now, she's been pushing boundaries pretty much since she stepped onto the music scene, and I, for one, find it a little uncomfortable to watch her do interviews in which she has a goddamn gold-plated, diamond-encrusted mouth grill and an eye patch. For me, it's gimmicky, it's silly, I don't need it. What point are you trying to prove? And yet, I do understand that she is basically saying, if a man can do it, why can't I? If a rapper can do it, why can't I? I want to be a pirate, why can't I? I get it. I don't really want it, but I get it. And yet this is a woman who has also been very much known for her body. And so do we want to see this woman who oh gosh, how old is Madonna now? I think she's in her sixties. Do we want to see her? Scantily clad, wearing cone bras, sixty-seven years old, my dear, um, with boobs pushed up to her chin. Do we want to see this? What do we expect of women who are older? I remember reading on various Facebook chat rooms, performers lamenting about whether or not they should be using tape on their face in order to have a more youthful appearance. I always said I would retire from the stage at age forty. And yet, I, for one, have still not delivered all of my ideas to the stage. I have not come even close to fulfilling half of what I wanted to fulfill in terms of my artistic abilities, and I've spent a damn long time training. I must confess that the pandemic did derail a good portion of that training, and so I sit here reminiscing over what my body could do, embracing what my body can do now, and questioning whether or not it makes sense for a woman of my age to get back out there, to give it her all, to shake it, to bump and to grind. Will I still be an artiste? Or will I be relegated to MILF status? Or would it be even worse to be thought of as an older woman trying to play at a young woman's game to be dismissed and forgotten as that was interesting. But what next Well my darlings, I must confess that the life of a showgirl is not an easy one, and I for one am not the first to question how aging impacts my art form or industry. Hmm. I do hope other young ladies coming up in the fields, whether it be burlesque, or maybe they are escorts or have their own OnlyFans page, or they are show girls in Las Vegas. I hope they save their money because you aren't young forever. Thanks for stopping by, darlings. It's been lovely to chat.