Free Speech is So Taboo

Strange how in the U.S. we value the first amendment right to free speech, yet there's a ton that is just too "impolite" to talk about openly with friends, family, colleagues... even lovers. This just seems a little off to me, personally, but I'd love to know what you think. Let's have a little chat.

Music by Mound City by Coleman Hawkins (recorded 1929)

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This podcast is recorded in a style that pays homage to talents like Miss Monitor (Tedi Thurman) and explores topics designed to stimulate conversations. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You, like me, are someone who has seen what happened over the past few years. My name is the lovely Ray, and I was born and raised in the US. I currently have the opportunity to speak with people from all over the world. Regular people, just like you. And I'm always fascinated by our cultural differences and similarities. This podcast is voiced in the style of the soul resounding 1955 Weather Girl. It is a collection of thoughts inspired by my global conversations and aims to invite you to have those hard conversations out loud and with others. Thanks for stopping by, darlings. I love to check. Welcome back, darlings. As of this recording, there has been a social media and internet blackout in Iran for almost a month. And as someone who does reside in the United States, the power of free speech is something that seems to be an inalienable right. It seems just a given. And yet, what's going on with free speech in the US? I mean, here we have the president of the United States claiming to be willing to intervene to support the people of Iran to make sure their voices are heard and uplifted. And yet talk, talk, talk. Now, first we haven't done anything, and will we do anything? Probably not. To be fair. Should we do anything? That's a separate discussion. And I'm gonna say it's not the focus of today's episode. Because you see, darling, today I want to talk about the fact that the idea of free speech seems to apply to some, but not everyone, in the US at least. And part of that comes down to, well, what do you want to talk about? Hmm. I don't know about you, but I have a whole lot of friends and family who don't talk politics, they don't talk money, they don't talk sex. Well, what are we talking about, guys? Oh, shall we keep things polite? Keep things very neutral. Do tell me how was your weekend, my friend? Have you ever asked someone that question and thought to yourself, I actually don't give a shit how your weekend was, because fact of the matter is there are people that I love that are suffering right now and I'm not allowed to talk about it. Or rather, I don't give a shit how your weekend was because I know that you hold beliefs that are so opposed to mine, I'm questioning whether or not we can continue to be friends. Now you might be saying to yourself, no, I haven't felt those things. And you, my dear, I find you rather lucky. And I'm indeed rather envious because you see, I do have a friend where I have thought, oh, I just want to ask you why you hold the beliefs that you do. You say you are a Christian, and yet when we talk, you seem to be really upset at the idea, the audacity of there being poor people who would sit on the steps of the church, if there being people who do not have a home wandering the streets, the same streets that you walk, only they make you feel unsafe. And that in and of itself is a crime, and so if you are unsafe, then they are not good. But wouldn't that be in conflict with your religious beliefs? Now, to be fair, my friend should be able to express herself any way she chooses, and what makes her uncomfortable is her right to express. I am not necessarily one to say, how dare you not feel comfortable around people who obviously do not have all of the fortune that you do. And yet, is it not my right to exercise my freedom of speech by saying, hmm, that's interesting, but it seems to be a little closed-minded, seems to be a little bit opposite of what you say your God believes in. I mean, was your God not someone who was turned away from many homes and relied on the kindness of others in order to survive?

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Was your God not a forgiving God? I do know that your God is a vengeful God, but we'll save that for another day.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Yes. And, you know, if man was created by an Almighty Being, then would not this Almighty Being be aware that man, woman, we would have thoughts, we would have feelings, and would it not be expected that some of those thoughts may not always be kind? And some of those thoughts may not always be understanding, and wouldn't communication between one another help extend, help express, help encourage understanding and kindness? Why can't we talk about sex? Why can't we talk about money? I mean, if you're making more money and you know how, why can't you share? And if you know you're making more money for doing the exact same job, why is it that you're not allowed to tell me? Why is it that I'm not allowed to say to the higher-ups, hey, this isn't fair? We do the same work, but we're not getting the same pay. And why is it that we use social media to speak freely, and yet in public, we are told not to talk about certain things. I mean, it's gotten to the point where you've seen it's it's impolite to talk about your favorite sports team because someone else might get upset. That game might get a little out of control.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Maybe you lose a friend, maybe you lose a lover.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

I don't know. Have you ever really thought about it, darlings? Have you ever really thought about why it is we're comfortable talking about some things and not others? I mean, initially I was told we don't talk about money because you don't want others to feel bad. It almost, it's you don't want to be bragging, right? If you are making a good amount of money, you don't want for someone else to suddenly question their value, their worth. But at the same time, it wasn't until we started talking about value, the value of someone's work, maybe films being made, and suddenly you realize, hey, why is it that I'm in just as many episodes? Or rather, I've done just as many days on set, if not more, and yet I'm being paid significantly lower. Now, darlings, you may have realized that part of what I am hinting at is the pay disparity between the sexes. However, it's not just a gender issue, is it? Oh no. There are many reasons why one person might get paid more or less than someone else. I mean, at times you'll find that in the company the child of someone higher up in the ranks will be paid more for doing far less work. Or someone whose education seems to be from a prestigious university might be offered a higher pay. For what? Because they spent more to go to school? If they even paid for it themselves. You see, the issue of money in the workplace is a tricky one. And yet that's not the only thing that we simply do not talk about for fear of causing a little upset, a little unhappiness, a little uneasiness. And I do realize that some of you may be saying, No, lovely, the reason why we don't talk about money at work is because the man doesn't want us to know that they're cheating us, that they want to take the money that is rightfully ours. And then that brings up another question: what is rightfully yours? What is rightfully mine? I mean, on one hand, I could say the food that I grow, the clothes that I sew, the money that I have paid for something, those things are rightfully mine.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I could say that.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

And yet, could you not argue that you also have some share in what I claim to be mine? Possibly. I mean, if the food that I grow comes from seeds that you helped provide me or comes from water that I have access to because you've paid your utility bills or you've paid your taxes, does that actually give you some say, some small claim on what is rightfully mine? Probably don't, but it's something worth thinking about, something worth pondering. I mean, after all, darling, that's the whole point of these conversations, these little chats, is to just explore, to just think, to just talk about what we rarely talk about in open. What so many of us may feel we can't even talk about behind closed doors. And what do we do with all this pent-up energy? What do we do? Well, we could go on social media, let loose, hide behind an avatar and say, Hey, this is what I feel. I don't like you, I don't like your opinions, I don't like your votes, I don't like your politics, I don't like the way you look, I don't like the way you sound, I don't like it. Strange because so many people do this on social media, and yet when they are captured behaving in a similar fashion out in public and called out on it, or even if they just post on social media and it gets back to their boyers, then it's all these apologies and oh, I didn't mean it. Oh, why did I get fired? Oh, poor me. So strange it really is. And I subscribe to many international news podcasts, and I just don't see the same kind of rhetoric around this whole toxic using social media to be violent verbally towards others and then suffering the consequences afterwards. I just don't see it. But I think partly maybe it's not newsworthy, maybe it's not being covered by the networks I listen to, or maybe it's because in a lot of places people are much more comfortable talking about what is so taboo in the United States.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Can you imagine talking to a friend, having a heated debate on a disagreement, and then then saying, I can't be your friends with you anymore. And that friend turning you and say, Well, what do you mean? We've been friends for decades. We just disagree on this one thing, but I still value you. I still value your opinion. And maybe you're saying to yourself, lovely, imagine it. That is my life, that's how I live, that's what friends are for. And yet, I myself have been tossing and turning on what to do about this very issue. You see, a friend of mine, her sister, um, let's just say her sister was living dangerously when we were all on lockdown, and exposing my friend and her family to the thing no one wanted to be exposed to back in 2020. And I have heard many stories about how this sister has borrowed money from my friend and not repaid it while simultaneously going on very lavish trips. In fact, my friend has been very generous and bailed out her sister many times, and her sister, who is older by you, so not a child, definitely knows better, has simply taken the money and without any real thank you or any remorse at the fact that she has failed to honor her agreements of making back those payments. Now I have said to my friend, if I were you, I'd cut her off. I would not maintain a relationship with someone who clearly has zero interest in respecting me, my family, and our safety. I would not maintain a relationship with someone who thinks I am just their personal ATM. No way, nah-uh, big on. And my friend has her reasons for keeping that relationship. She still feels that family is important, and I'll let you be the judge of that. However, you see, it's easy to give advice on such things, but when one is faced with such challenges themselves, what does one do? I mean, after all, I do have another friend where I want to say, I am 99.9% sure I know how you voted, and I want to know why. Because you like me are someone who is of a darker skin tone, and you like me are someone who has seen what happened over the past few years. So what justification do you have for supporting the things that are going on now? Or did you not realize that when you cast your vote for one idea, when you cast your vote to feel safer from those homeless people, you um casted your vote to unleash, releash, a whole bunch of other shit that you may not have supported or even thought of. Like the threat to invade Greenland, like the unwarranted attack on Venezuela's president and his wife. Now, friends, I'm gonna be honest with you. I have listened to a lot of good reporting on the history of the US's relationship with Venezuela, and regardless of what we all think of Maduro, was there anything different from the day the US went in and captured Maduro? Was there anything different from that moment than it was from say one week before, six weeks before, six months before, a year before? What was different? Why was the threat so high, the danger so bad that we just had to get in there and handle things? As we're apparently threatening to do with Iran, but didn't the American people, at least those Marjorie Green supporters, say that they were looking for an America first pathway, that they wanted to get the US out of forever wars. I believe that was also under the previous president's administration where Americans said we don't want our boys and girls fighting in the Middle East anymore. Get them out of Afghanistan. And well, how did that turn out? There's a really interesting book where it talks about the US's involvement in Afghanistan's drug trade. Hmm. Yeah. I'll have to link uh to in the show notes to a podcast episode where that is explored in great detail. However, this episode is simply about free speech. What do we support the right to talk about and not talk about? What is it that causes us to end relationships because we weren't supposed to talk about that? Why do we maintain relationships with people in which we feel we can't talk to? Strange, isn't it? I actually recently asked a young lady. I believe she was living in Turkey, and I asked her about what she shares, her dreams, her wishes. Does she share them with her family or friends? And she said, Oh no. I share those with my husband. And that's it. Everyone else, they are more than happy to give you their opinion, to question what it is that you prioritize and believe, to share their own opinions, ideas, and beliefs. And I find myself thinking, oh, that must be nice. It must be nice to have someone that you trust so completely that you could share your hopes, your dreams, your opinions, and not fear that they will walk away, that they will shut you out, that they'll no longer love you, that they'll no longer be your friend, that you can truly be free in your speech. I was married, darling, and as much as I would love to say that I felt that no, no, no, I did not. There were always certain subjects were just not to be talked about. Hmm, no, no, no, we don't talk about that. And isn't it interesting? Now, here we are, 2026, and one of the things that has been really pushed as something to buy, to invest in, is mental health. And while I do believe awareness towards an individual's mental state is beneficial, and how we shouldn't go around assuming everyone is thinking and feeling like we do, or in the very least, that everyone is thinking and feeling that they are okay. I do have to wonder why it is that we've all been talking about mental health, mental health, talk to somebody. If you feel alone, talk to somebody, and yet no one's saying, if you feel alone, maybe you should connect with friends in a different way. Maybe we should all be allowed to take that paste up and uh put it up for everyone to see at work. Maybe we should all have a collective conversation, a community conversation. Why is it that we're all simply being encouraged to either get mental help from an online source, maybe even use Chat GPT to help us when we're feeling down, or to simply log in to social media, click a like, a heart, go into the comments and tell them how you really feel? I mean, seems a little weird to me because after all, if we really do value the power of speech, then why is it that we are so limited in how we communicate? Why is it that we're being pushed to communicate in very specific ways that seem to just make us more alienated? I don't know. I don't know. But it's something I like to think about. And to be honest, at times, I do lay awake at night thinking about this as well as other things.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

But this one this one it never really goes away.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

When I was younger, I used to think to myself, having friends is great. I'm so lucky. I have so many friends, as children often do. At least back in my day it seemed pretty easy to make friends. You like the same snack, you like the same toys, you like the same TV show, or maybe you just thought someone's t-shirt was cool. Boom, your friends done. Magic, signs still deliver. And I was under the illusion that once you found your life partner, once you said I do, well, there too is someone to talk to, to share your hopes, your dreams, your wishes, your fears, your grunts, your gripes, all of it. And yet, that really doesn't seem to be the case. For some of us at least.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

For some of us.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

And so as I've gotten older and the friendship department has dwindled. Hey, we work at the same company, we're friends, right? Oh, that friendship only extends while we're at the same company, while we're in the same children's play group, while we go to the same bar, that friendship circle it dissipates, gets smaller. And I suppose that's just a part of life, isn't it? I mean, as your interests change, as you change, one finds there are less things in common, but I don't feel like that. I feel like over time there's been less interest of people wanting to get to know people. People that are within our arm's reach, people close by. It seems everyone wants to get to know all about those reality stars. We want to know all about those celebrities. Who are you sleeping with? Ooh, who are you dating now? Ooh, what are you wearing? Where are you living? What are you driving?

SPEAKER_00 28:09

I want to do that. Be that.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

But for so many of us in the US now, we don't know our neighbors' name or the names of their kids, or the names of the faculty at the school, or even the name of the janitor that works in the same office that we have been in for some five years.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Strange, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 28:47

It would seem so easy. If you have something you want to talk about, don't hold it in, express your right to speak freely, exercise your right, freedom of speech, and just be heard. And maybe people will agree with you, maybe people will disagree with you, but you are heard. And in that process of being heard, maybe the weight you've been carrying is just a little lighter, the load is just a bit more bearable, and maybe you don't need that therapist online, or maybe the issue that was bothering you was also bothering someone else too when you together can make change. And maybe if we all talk a little bit more, it's a little bit louder to those that are near us. We can find that we have the relationships that we truly treasure, truly value, the friendships that we never want to go away, that we do not have to lie awake at night going, why am I friends with this person? Who am I by keeping this friendship? What am I supporting? Just a thought, darling. And so I hope you feel inspired to have a conversation with someone you love. It's been lovely to chat.